Wisdom from the Anteater

OR “How the Anteater Helped Me Get My Groove Back”

Creativity Released

A few months ago I hit creative gold: I found something I love doing that can also help me market my business: creating videos for YouTube. Within a couple days of each other, I discovered two videos that I love making: weekly forecast readings with my Animal Wisdom Oracle Cards and training videos using PowerPoint presentations.

Once I figured out all the logistics, I started posting videos in earnest in mid-March. Each week, more viewers watched my videos.

I felt great! Things were going great! I finally found my groove! I did my happy dance and celebrated.

For 3 weeks.

Then my numbers dropped precipitously.

Creativity Crash

I took it hard. I felt like I didn’t matter, that no one was interested in my message or what the animals have to say. I judged myself: I’m doing something wrong. Maybe I was off-course and out of alignment with the energy of the animals and my message.

I was seriously discouraged.

I was doubting and questioning my new passion. Maybe my inner compass was wrong. Maybe my inner ‘yes’ was leading me astray. I started to doubt myself and even my intuitive guidance. I was a mess.

Anteater Wisdom

Enter the Anteater, our guest for our April Animal Wisdom Call in the Animal Wisdom Circle. He told us that his Spiritual Gift was having total integration with the world. He said that knowing where he belongs and being woven into the tapestry of his world makes him inseparable from his environment. He is completely intertwined with the world that he lives in and he knows his place in it.

He told us that his Spiritual Lesson was feeling separate from himself, his community, and/or the whole world. For a being that is so integrated, not feeling connected to those around him is the ultimate challenge.

His Message to People was to be more aware that everything is integrated. We all need each other. Each one of us plays a part in a larger whole. Each individual counts.

Healer Heal Thyself

A week later, inspired by the Anteater’s wisdom but still feeling discouraged and upset about my low YouTube numbers, I found my spiritual healing in the most unlikely way. I took my daughter to see the touring Broadway production of The Bodyguard, the Musical. Like half the population of the world, I had seen the original movie with Kevin Costner and Whitney Houston twenty-five years ago. I entered the theater feeling dubious – why do they have to make everything into a Broadway musical? – but my fifteen-year old daughter Lexi aspires to be a Broadway performer, so I didn’t voice my cynicism. We settled into our red velvet seats, Lexi took her customary photo of her ticket and the playbill to post on Snapchat, and we waited for the show to begin.

Mourning Whitney Houston

It turned out to be a wonderful show. The cast, the sets, the singing were all awesome. It was in the second scene that I found myself crying. Onstage, Deborah Cox as Diana Marron, the character played by Whitney Houston in the movie, sat at a grand piano composing the song that begins “I believe that children are our future.” It was a lovely moment. The lyrics were inspiring. Her voice was beautiful. But she wasn’t Whitney Houston.  Up until this moment, I hadn’t taken Whitney Houston’s death personally, but I did now. There was truly no one on earth like her. She was unique. She died tragically and too early.

As the show progressed, I realized how many Whitney Houston songs were tied to significant moments in my life. I saw how much impact she had on my life personally. And I’d never hear another one of her songs again because she couldn’t record a new song because she was dead. What a loss for me and for the whole world. She was one in a million.

I sat in my comfy theater seat with more tears streaming down my cheeks with each new Whitney Houston song that was performed. Each one evoked a strong, visceral memory in my body from a time in my past. I heard “I Wanna Dance with Somebody” and immediately I was twenty-two guiding a raft down the Kern River, past a group of campers on the riverbank listening to this song playing on the radio. I heard “One Moment in Time” and I was a recent college grad wondering if I would ever have my ‘one moment in time’ and do something great or even just find a meaningful career.

So there I was, crying in the theater, feeling the loss of a real genius who gave us all so much. She gave us songs that inspire and heal us. She gave us her unique voice and presence. She gave us power and playfulness. She gave us beauty and inspiration and fun. She gave us herself.

Enter the Little Drummer Boy

And then it hit me: like the little drummer boy, we each have a gift to give the world. And that gift is ourselves. Some give their gift on a large stage like Whitney Houston, some on a smaller stage but we all have a unique combination of special qualities to share with the world. Just like in the old black and white movie “It’s A Wonderful Life,” the world would not be the same without any single one of us. We all contribute. We all matter.

Even Me

As I left the theater, I realized that I have my role to play, I have my message to share, I have my community and family and my relationships with all the animals. I’ve always felt like my mission was to be a messenger for the animals and I’m doing that. I never said my mission is to reach X number of people per week on YouTube! My mission is to share the wisdom that I get from the animals. Period.

Elizabeth Gilbert says that she made an agreement with creativity to create and write books but she never agreed that they had to be bestsellers or even be good. She agreed to the act of creation not the result of creation. I am making the same agreement.

I’ll spread the word of the animals’ messages as best I can but I will stop judging myself based on the number of people I reach in pursuit of that mission.

Animal Wisdom

And I’ll keep taking the wisdom I receive from the animals to heart. The Anteater’s message resonated with me and showed me the parts of myself that were out of alignment with his message. I saw a place in myself that was operating on the misconception that I’m not enough. My numbers were lower than I wanted them to be and I made the mistake of thinking that meant that there was something wrong with me. I lost sight of my divinity in that moment and became less of myself.

By having the wisdom from the Anteater and the music of Whitney Houston to guide me, I saw myself as single piece in the big puzzle of life. And really, all that the puzzle of life requires of me is to be myself, to share my gifts, and to reside in the knowledge that each one of us (including me) is a Divine Being. Each one of has gifts to share and lessons to learn. Sometimes we forget that we are divine beings and think there is something wrong with us. Then our job is to heal that misunderstanding in order to return ourselves to our natural state of wholeness, connected to all the other pieces in the puzzle of life, which is exactly what I just did.

My spiritual healing this month came to me via an Anteater in Venezuela and Whitney Houston up in heaven. Thank you both.

Now It’s Your Turn

What does the Anteater’s wisdom mean to you? Where do you feel like you don’t fit in and how can you heal that misunderstanding? Please share your insights in the comments below. I’d love to hear how you are healing from the Anteater’s wisdom, too!